Ahh, Blessed June 2nd!

The big day has come and gone...and I'm so thankful it's over!

Owen turned one yesterday. My baby. My last one.

The night before his birthday I stayed up much later than normal just to delay the inevitable sunrise which would mark his first birthday. I just wasn't ready to face the truth - that ugly truth that happens each day, mostly unnoticed. The truth that time moves swiftly and unmercifully, whether you are in agony over each second that passes in the grip of grief and sadness, or having the time of your life celebrating the joys of this life. For each of us, the minutes and hours are all measured the same, completely unaffected by our desire to control them.

And so, that brings us back to the marking of time in the life of one little boy.

When the sun did come up on the morning of the 1st, I actually had an easier time than I'd expected. I had a list of things to accomplish in preparation for his birthday party this weekend. The back of my car was filled with bags full of clothes and baby goods to donate to the crisis pregnancy center, and my heart was happy to give them to the little ones whose mommy & daddy were scared and unprepared to care for them. I thought it would be difficult to let go of these things, well, let's be honest, these memories, but that was the serendipitous discovery - I wasn't letting go of those memories!! I was releasing myself from the burden of storing it all and hanging on to moments that had already passed, seconds and minutes that were meant to pass so that I might enjoy the moments being made all around me.

And so after we left the pregnancy center, I decided to bask in the moments in front of me (or behind me, actually, in the backseat) and head for the park. A friend of mine and two of her sons came to the park and even brought us Happy Meals. The kids chased an aggressive squirrel, throwing nuggets at it and feeding it french fries. We watched the scores of high school students at the pool and playing volleyball, and I was thankful for my little ones. Who are still little. Even if they are turning one.

Today is June 2nd. Today I can just breathe. Today is the beginning of year #2. And God-willing, I can enjoy each day until May 31st.

I'll be up late that night.